Yoga Vita

Musings on Yoga, Life, and the Yoga Life

Back to Bitch


I haven’t written in a while, but now I’m back to bitch. Nothing is more inspirational than a bad mood. Today’s edition shall address the following: (1) a big eff-off to those who came up with the “mommy job,” and (2) boo-hiss to the big gray raincloud that is my ex-partner.

(1) Gag. A plastic surgery combo platter of a boob lift/enlargement, a tummy tuck, and liposuction. . . the “mommy job“? As if women’s bodies weren’t attacked enough, now the simple state of being a mother is beginning to be viewed as a pathology. At least among those in a position to “correct” it through expensive, health-threatening surgery. If a woman elects to get some plastic surgery after she’s had kids or some other life change, fine, but the fact that certain surgeries are being marketed to mothers as if there was inherently something wrong with them really gets to me. I think this excerpt sums up the issue nicely:

“The message is that, after having children, women’s bodies change for the worse,” said Diana Zuckerman, the president of the National Research Center for Women and Families, a nonprofit group in Washington. If marketing could turn the postpregnancy body “into a socially unacceptable thing, think of how big your audience would be and how many surgeries you could sell them,” she said. [My italics.]

Hate your bodies, ladies. It’s good for business.

Moving along. . .

(2) About a week ago, I made the stupid, stupid mistake of opening up my home to an ex-partner who seemed to be in crisis and needed a place to stay. BAD idea. No sane person would do this- – what was I thinking? Well, I was thinking I could help, I could do the compassionate thing, etc, etc. But the thing is, it is ALWAYS A BAD IDEA to invite someone with messed-up energy into your home. And it is ten times worse if you invite them for several days. And it is one hundred times worse if that person is an ex. And it is a thousand times worse if that ex is still “not over you.” Therefore, according to my advanced calculations, I did something that is one million times worse than a very bad idea. What a catastrophe.

Well, now I know.

She left two days ago and I still have this big cloud over my head. I’m tired all the time, my body feels like a bag of gravel in yoga, and I can barely focus on my work. My co-worker said I should do a complete spiritual cleansing of my home now, and I’m not normally into such mystical stuff, but I think he’s absolutely right. I feel as if I’ve bathed in week-old garbage and it’s still sticking to me, and there’s just no good reason to feel that way. Go away, bad BAD energy, go away!

Or maybe instead of a spiritual cleansing I should do something more concrete, like tell the jerk to fuck off because she’s a total energy vampire and I can’t be around her, for example.  Maybe both.

Oh yeah, and one last bitch: our landlady just changed our internet service and it never works!  Sigh.


4 thoughts on “Back to Bitch

  1. tell the jerk to fuck off! that’s energy cleansing for sure! You feel like a bag of gravel (LOVE that image) because you’re weighed down by her CRAP!

    And OMG, i had not heard of the ‘mommy job’. That makes me so sick–oh, they forgot to include tightening the snatch back up again. That was the biggest change for me (if I may be so bold on your blog…)

  2. Ha- – perhaps it’s easier to market to a wider audience by leaving out the snatch bit. Wouldn’t want to offend all those nice, respectable (yet heinously deformed of course) moms out there by going TOO far.

  3. well, actually, there’s a new trend in cooch reshaping surgery

  4. Blaaaah. Why are we looking to porn to tell us how to conduct our sexual lives?

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